


The Heart of Pride

by SocialDisease609



Category: Far Cry (Video Games), Far Cry 5
Genre: Casual Sex, Cunnilingus, F/F, Giving her the last name Rook because I could have sworn that was canon, Hurt/Comfort, I'm Sorry, Jealousy, Kinda a Love Triangle, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Rebounds, Rook is still a rookie but it's not her first day, Slow Burn, Tender Sex, Workplace Relationship, arresting instead of killing au, but its a good read, but no worries, emotional insight, faith x deputy though, i'll give them some good smut, is Faith manipulating the Deputy or not?, long as fuck, more about Rook learning how to love than anything, my poor baby Hudson deserves the world, nukes never went off au, oh well, overviews, slow burn for Hudson and Rook, smut at the end of the first chapter for those of you who just wanna skip through lol
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-29
Updated: 2020-04-29
Packaged: 2021-03-01 22:53:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,497
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23914873
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SocialDisease609/pseuds/SocialDisease609
Summary: A few moments in Deputy Rook’s life before, during, and after Eden’s Gate, more focusing on her romance between her and Deputy Hudson, and trysts with Faith.AU where the nukes never went off.
Relationships: Female Deputy | Judge/Faith Seed, Female Deputy | Judge/Joey Hudson
Comments: 9
Kudos: 37





	The Heart of Pride

Rook knew this was a crowd she hadn’t earned the warmth of. She had just been assigned and this was the first time anyone had bothered to invite her out on a drink. Many other officers were there, dressed in civvies, going bottle to bottle, shot to shot, but Rook was still the odd one out. It didn’t worry her too much. After all, all she had to really do was just lean back and engage. Connections took time and trust.   
The country music thrummed with small-town comfort as the young deputy made her way to the bar, picking a stool next to a familiar face.  
“How are you, Rook?” Deputy Hudson had asked, raising her beer bottle to her lips, the amber hue of the glass catching a quick reflective twinkle of light.   
“Doing great,” Rook smiled, leaning over the bar to catch the attention of the bartender. “Give me something from the house tap,” she ordered to the man. “Something stronger than this piss beer my friend’s nursing.”  
It was a playful jab, bait for Hudson to take.   
The more experienced deputy raised her eyebrow in intrigue, recognizing the attempt, but not biting the line just yet.  
“Trying to tap out early, huh?” Hudson then said, “Since this is your first time, I’ll let you know a little tip: if you really wanna bond with this group, you gotta last the night.”  
“Oh, I’m gonna last,” Rook said confidently, getting a firm grip of the glass pint that was now set in front of her. It was a deep brown malt, almost black, with an impressively thick head of light brown foam at the top. “And I’m gonna last with hard stuff too. I’m gonna be the king tonight.”  
“Is that so?” Hudson asked with a smirk. “No one outdrinks the old man.”   
She was referring to Sheriff Whitehorse. Rook had wondered if it was a good idea for their superior to be a part of these off-duty gatherings, but all concerns of fraternization diminished when she remembered just where she worked. The usual rules didn’t apply here, and it seemed to work.   
“We’ll see about that,” Rook smiled again. She raised her pint to her mouth and took a deep gulp of the cold drink, the malty aftertaste stinging just a bit. She regarded Hudson openly, enjoying her rich brown eyes, which held eye contact, a small warm smile at the edge of her lips.   
Rook wasn’t going to lie to herself or anyone else, she liked the other woman. More than liked, she wanted her. Rook was no stranger to her identity, or the game her identity had to play, but she wasn’t sure what Hudson’s preference was. The other deputy was all work, which there’s nothing wrong with, but since this was their first interaction off the clock, Rook wondered if just maybe she’d get some sign back.  
“You know,” Rook said, filling the silence that was threatening to become awkward, “Before I got the job, I used to intern at Neely’s Brewery, and my boss used to have us sample every batch, to make sure things were cooking the way they were supposed to. And sometimes, he would have us sample just for shits and giggles. We had about, I don’t know, maybe the equivalent of three to four pints a shift.”  
“Sounds like profit loss to me,” Hudson said, rotating her bottle on the sticky wooden bar.   
“Oh definitely. But he said we made enough money to make up the loss. Or so he said. Anyway, I think he might have had some alcohol problems, because not a day went by were we weren’t pouring pints before sending out truck to customers. Because of him, I’ve developed a high tolerance. It prepared me for this very day.”  
At this Hudson chuckled, still focusing on her beer bottle making slow circles on the wooden table top. Rook smiled, pleased at the reaction. “You’re saying your life foreshadowed this moment?”  
“Life foreshadows everything, we just don’t know it until we cross the moment that proves it,” Rook nodded. “But let’s not go there- that’s way too deep, and we’re here to have fun, right?”  
“Yeah,” Hudson said lightly. “No philosophy for me tonight.”  
“Well, to beating Whitehorse,” Rook proposed, holding her glass pint up. Hudson looked at it curiously before raising her own bottle, clinking it against the pint, which had a thin layer of condensation around it.   
“Let’s see if you can,” Hudson intimidated.   
“You wanna make a bet out of it?” Rook asked. “Since you don’t seem to believe in me!”  
“Oh? What are the stakes?”  
“Hmm, let’s see,” Rook put a hand under her chin to mock a thinking pose, “if I don’t outdrink Whitehorse tonight, I’ll do all your paperwork for a whole week.”  
“Oh?” Hudson asked, a tone of playfulness being held back in her voice. “And if you do win?”  
“If I win, we get coffee tomorrow before shift…”   
Hudson’s eyes seemed to widen just a bit, but it was just a second’s worth of time. It was a bold condition. If Hudson had any intuition, whether she was mutually interested or not, she would know that this wasn’t just any kind of invitation to coffee.  
“My treat,” Rook continued, not wavering in courage, “We’ll stop by Paulie’s and you can even get a pastry if you want.”   
Hudson huffed a chuckle. “A pastry, huh?”   
“Yeah. So we got a bet?” Rook held out her hand. Without hesitation, Hudson reached out and shook firmly, a shake that told Rook this was the shake she gave to everyone who doubted her. Rook understood. She had to do what she could to be respected in this line of work too, and all attempts had to be subtle and by the book as a woman.   
“You got one,” Hudson said. Her charming deep brown eyes drew Rook in even further. “Now go win.” She said lowly, raising her bottle to her lips again.   
Rook’s smile twitched as she got up from her stool, taking her pint with her, making her way to Whitehorse to start the duel of brews. 

* * *

It had been raining hard, which was a rare occurrence in these parts, and everyone was taking cover like an apocalyptic plague was inbound. Rook was driving along in her patrol car, coasting slowly, her wiper blades working overtime and her vents cranked to relieve the fog from her windshield. It was a little stressful to not be able to see so well, but the green deputy knew that going slow was her best bet, and everyone knew that not even criminals wanted to be out and about in this. Humming along to the vintage country playing softly on the radio, tuned low enough to not be a distraction, but audible enough to still be a comfort, she kept on.   
And as she continued down the streets, watching people run and shriek from the heavy cold drops, her eyes caught sight of Hudson, running down the street, a magazine held uselessly above her head as she tried to join others in seeking shelter. Rook felt herself warm at the humorous sight, and slowly pulled up to the curb.  
“Care for a lift?” Rook asked, rolling down the window, the cold burst of rain-wind quickly invading the warmth of the vehicle.   
Hudson didn’t say anything, no questions asked and quickly ran to the other side of the patrol car as Rook unlocked the door from inside.   
“Oh my god, it’s so crazy right now,” Hudson shuddered, clicking her seatbelt. She then reached out for the vents on the dashboard. “I know you’re trying to defog the windshield, but do you mind cranking the heat?”  
“Sure, of course,” Rook obliged, turning the dial on the console closer to the red segment of the gauge as she returned the car to motion. “Where you need me to take you?”  
“Back to my place, I’m afraid,” Hudson said, keeping her eyes in front of her as the visibility outside got thicker and thicker, the rain coming down more relentlessly. “I had to drop my car off at the shop. Timing belt snapped, the piece of shit. Gonna cost me eight hundred bucks, can you believe that? Shit would happen on my day off! Anyway, I was gonna just grab a drink before placing a ride, but that’s when the rain came down. Came out of nowhere!”  
“It sure did,” Rook agreed, flexing her fingers on the steering wheel as she felt her anxiety rapidly boil over. She couldn't see anything anymore. “Came on like a snap of the fingers. Hey listen, not to waste your day off any more or anything, but I really need to pull over. This isn’t safe.”   
“No worries,” Hudson grimaced. “You’ve got a point.”  
Rook pulled over gently, hugging the edge of the road as best she could, and pressed her hazards on.   
“Well, we can put the heat on blast now. Don’t gotta worry about the fog if we’re not movin’,” Rook resorted, turning the heat even more. Hudson hummed in approval, her fingertips inadvertently changing the angle of the vents as they sought the heat.  
There was a moment of silence as both women listened to the rain thump away on the entire shell of the patrol car before Hudson took initiative.   
“So, tell me about yourself.”  
“What are you talking about?” Rook asked, amused, “We’ve been working together for three weeks. Thought we did all the ice breakers long ago.”  
Hudson frowned with irritability, “Tell me more,” she said. “Tell me what real Rook would share, not Deputy Rook. I know professional answers when I hear them. You were born and raised in Montana, you only have an associates in Criminal Justice before you applied for the police Academy, graduated top of your class, got the job- we all know that, we all say that. Tell me more.”  
Rook shifted in her seat to angle her body towards Hudson as best she could. “Well go ahead and hit me with Twenty Questions, we’ll rotate, how ‘bout that?”   
“I’m game,” Hudson said, “Rain may be over by then, or at least lighter. Tell me, siblings?”  
“Got a half-brother, older than me. Came from my daddy’s first marriage,” Rook answered. “His name is Luke. What do you like to do in your time off?”  
“I’m a big reader,” Hudson answered.  
“Oh?”   
“You’ll learn soon that with this job you need to make sure you find something that helps wind you down, not keep you up. But when I’m feeling lively, I like to build. Really big on carpentry.”  
Rook made an exaggerated impressed face. Not what she expected, but that was good.   
“You got anyone special?” Hudson then asked. Her expression was neutral, nothing in her face or eyes could tell Rook that there was intent in the question, but a flag went up in the rookie’s mind. Rook hadn’t come out to the department, not officially, but she didn’t hide her identity either. Rook’s experience with women, though, told her this was nothing more than what all people attracted to the same sex did when they wanted to be discreet: ask a general question about love lives to see if pronouns were dropped, and if so, that would give you the answer to if they were like you.   
“Not right now, no,” Rook said, willingly taking the bait, hoping it was what she suspected. “I had a girl before this gig, but she broke up with me when I got in the academy. Said she didn’t wanna have to worry about me twenty-four seven. Afraid every call would be The Call, you know?”   
“Well that sucks,” Hudson said, “But she had a point, she was right. But we still deserve love, you know?”  
Rook simply nodded, “What about you? Got some tall and broad man at home?” Another tactic, one not all liked to use: drop a heteronormative expectation and see the reaction.  
Hudson scoffed, “If I had a man, I would make sure he knew a thing about cars so I’d save myself eight hundred bucks.”   
A tricky answer. She was either single or not interested in men.   
“Give me another question,” Rook suggested, tactfully changing the subject.  
Hudson’s eyes squinted, as if she were taking aim in the shooting range. Rook felt her stomach twist in anxious anticipation.   
“That night at the bar, when you proposed you’d outdrink Whitehorse,” Hudson said, eyes still primed in suspicion, “You said if you won, we’d get coffee. Since you didn’t win, we never got coffee. Nor my pastry. If you had won, and we went, would you have made a move?”  
Rook blinked. “Excuse me?”  
Hudson scooted closer in her seat. “You were hitting on me, weren’t you?”   
“I uh,” Rook knew honesty was best, no matter how nervous the spotlight made her feel, “I was. But I didn’t wanna make you uncomfortable. I didn’t know if… if you were… I was gonna find out.”  
Hudson leaned back in her seat, her dark eyes scanning the heavy rain again.   
“Did I… uh, did I…” Rook wanted to ask if she made her uncomfortable. If Hudson was disgusted, if she wanted nothing more than to be as far away as possible, preferring the rain over shelter of the car.  
Hudson then turned in her seat again, facing Rook, and said, “You know, I can’t keep giving you tips on how to survive here. If you wanna be one of us, you gotta be confident in everything, even failures.” She then took hold of the lapels of Rook’s forest green uniform shirt and pulled her close, bringing their lips together. 

* * *

Two days later, Sheriff Whitehorse informed the department that a U.S. Marshall would be coming, seeking their escort into the heart of Joseph Seed’s compound. The team would be small, just him, the Marshall, and three local deputies. When the Sheriff ended his brief, he requested that Deputy Hudson, Deputy Pratt, and Deputy Rook stay behind. Everyone knew they were The Chosen Ones, and they internally rejoiced at having won that game of roulette.   
Everyone was nervous the night it came to head out. The only ones who seemed collected were the Sheriff and Marshall. As they embarked on the helicopter, Rook say the anxiousness in Hudson’s eyes. Rook knew she mirrored it in her own, but in order to stay calm, she decided to distract herself on thoughts of taking Hudson out on a date. Maybe they’d finally get coffee. All the junior deputy knew was that their make out session in her car that one rainy day wouldn’t be the last time she got to relish in the other woman’s private affections.   
When the helicopter went down that first hour in Hope County, Rook knew she had to run, but she wanted to run towards the screams more. She knew it was Hudson. She sounded so terrified. Rook couldn’t stand it. She couldn’t stand the thought that maybe Hudson was going to die in these moments. But she had to save herself. That’s just how things went. If there was even a mission to complete or come up with, she had to be alive to do it.   
And later when Dutch showed her the TV broadcast of Hudson, bound, makeup running down her cheeks, standing next to John Seed, Rook knew where she was going. She didn’t need Dutch to give her the recommendation. Forget Joseph Seed, forget Jacob Seed, forget Faith Seed. John Seed was going to die, guaranteed. She would save Hudson, bring her to Dutch, take her somewhere to keep her safe.  
It took a lot of work, a lot of strenuous and dangerous excursions through the southwest of Hope County. A lot of death. When Rook entered law enforcement, she knew that there would be a situation where she would have to end an assailant’s life, but the blood she had on her hands now was endlessly running down her arms, coated constantly with the heated crimson, as if she hand swam through the Nile river during the Biblical plagues. She made it to Fall’s End, secured it as a headquarters for the region and before long, John had captured her twice. On the second time, he had paraded Hudson in front of her, the fear apparent on her whole form, even bound to a chair. Rook had shouted to go first, losing her controlled façade in front of Hope County’s Yes Man.   
John was thrilled at her eagerness, and even though Rook was happy to have saved Hudson more pain, she felt ashamed at having given the enemy what he wanted. Now John knew that Hudson was a valuable hostage, and would gain more power through his control of her.   
But when Rook had run John to the ground, pulling him out of the burning wreckage, she did not kill him. Instead, she wrestled him to the ground, throwing his face into the dirt, and pressed herself down on him, keeping him from thrashing around like an alligator.   
“John Seed,” she grumbled breathlessly, procuring her handcuffs, which she had retrieved from Dutch’s bunker earlier, and clipped them on his wrists, “You are under arrest.”   
She read him his Miranda Rights, a sense of achievement flowing in her chest. She called in Pastor Jerome to arrive, himself, with a team, trusting him to oversee that the disciple of the false prophet would arrive to a secured location in Fall’s End alive.   
Then, Rook made her way to John’s bunker, and found Hudson, or rather, Hudson found her. They wrestled as the fog of war made Joey rabid, unable to recognize her fellow deputy fighting underneath her. Her eyes were frightening. Even when Hudson came to, her soul was no where to be found behind her eyes. It had retreated within her, in a hidden and safe place. In it’s place was something feral.   
Rook did as Hudson commanded of her, letting the other woman give the orders, let her have a sense of control. It was needed, Rook told herself, after being held helpless, what Hudson needed was to not feel that way, to have control.   
She then brought her to the stronghold that was Fall’s End, showed her to a shower and an empty room. It took a long time for Hudson to reappear, everyone downstairs and outside wait for her to join the celebrations in The Spread Eagle.   
When she did, Hudson seemed to resurface in her eyes, just a small glimmer, but the illumination of her soul still just smoldering, and not alight. She passed her gratitude to Rook, and even a compliment. She was acknowledging her accomplishments and her growth, and the deputy expected nothing more. She would not push Hudson for anything.   
However, two days went by and Hudson only seemed to be colder and colder, her spirit receeding back within her.  
“She’s been through a lot,” Pastor Jerome had told Rook one morning, as the deputy prepared to head out into the Henbane. She wanted to go into the region with a bang, gain The Siren’s attention and fear quick- she was going to demolish the Statue of Joseph first thing. “She has opened up to me, told me a few things in confidence. She will need you, Rook. If what you two had before all this is still alive, she will need you.”  
“If she comes to me,” Rook muttered, packing C4 in her backpack. Rook had approached Hudson multiple times already, casually and caringly, but Hudson had not once revealed the horrors she was withholding from her.   
“She will,” the pastor said, “healing in all souls take their own time. Just because she hasn’t shared yet doesn’t mean she isn’t gathering the courage and comfort from you.”   
Rook took the words to heart. She didn’t want to be frustrated at Hudson’s coldness, the man of faith had a point. Before she headed out, she stopped by Hudson’s room.  
“I’m uh, I’m heading out,” Rook said. “I’m gonna bring down that obnoxious statue.”  
“Oh really?” Hudson said, staying near the window she was looking out of. “Can’t wait to see that shit collapse.”   
“Yeah,” Rook smiled, taking it upon herself to cross the threshold of the room. “Gonna try to knock all this out as fast as possible. The sooner I draw out Faith, the sooner I can arrest her too, then move on to Jacob, and so forth. I’m hoping I can secure the County Jail too, that way we can have a more suitable place to house the Seeds. Get a sense of familiarity too.”   
“Will we be moving our operations there?” Hudson asked, looking at Rook with melancholy.   
“Yeah, in fact, I’d like it if you would help me run the prison.”  
Hudson cracked a small smile. “I’d like something to do,” she said.   
“I bet,” Rook continued to smile. “Well… I gotta go now. Taking Nick with me.”  
Hudson nodded and walked over to Rook, holding her hands delicately. The act surprised the deputy, tenderness reigniting in her heart. She loved when touches thrilled her, when the small acts of intimacy and romance brought bright happiness through her entire being.   
“Be safe out there, okay?” She whispered. “Come back, don’t let them get you.”   
“Don’t worry,” Rook said confidently, fueled by the bravado Hudson’s affection fed her. “I can handle a Sunday dress.”   
Hudson chuckled but shook her head, “Don’t judge them by how they look, especially Faith. There’s more than just charisma in these people’s hands.”  
“I’ll be safe,” Rook said in gentle reassurance.   
Hudson closed her eyes for a moment, not letting go of their hands. “Please,” she repeated in earnest. “I need you to come back.”  
“I’ll come back to you,” Rook whispered. “You’re my only reason for moving forward. I need to see you happy.”  
Hudson’s hands gripped harder at the confession, affected by the heavy words.   
“Come back,” Hudson repeated in a low plead.   
Rook took the intuitive and tilted her head, pressing a tame kiss on Hudson’s lips. The other deputy didn’t move away, her lips mildly reciprocating.   
Rook then pulled away, knowing to go slow with Hudson as she was still recovering from her trauma.   
“Hold the fort down for me, Deputy?” Rook then asked with light charm.  
“You got it, boss,” Hudson laughed lightly, and let go of their hands, letting Rook walk out the door. 

* * *

Rook had done what she set out to do, destroyed the Statue of Joseph. Then she freed the prison. On her journey to return to Fall’s End to meet up with Hudson to transfer John, she felt strange. Her vision blurred, her heart murmured, her breathing was incredibly slow. Her legs became weightless, and she fell forward, passing out on the plains of the Henbane.   
She dreamt of Faith, of affection, of belongingness, and for a moment, while she still believed it was a dream, almost gave in. Almost gave herself to Faith and her promises of a peaceful life. But then her reasoning came to her the longer the dream went on, and she realized she was on a trip, and fought hard to wake. When she did, she was greeted by the Siren herself in waking life.   
“I know what your sin is,” Faith said, after some conversing between the two. Rook rolled her eyes. She was getting tired of people telling her what she was. “John said it was wrath, but he doesn’t have an attentive eye. He is like a satellite, picking up images of a big picture. But sin? Sin requires intimate inspection, a microscopic study.”  
“What is it then?” Rook murmured; her tongue heavy with the intoxication of bliss.   
Faith bent closer to Rook, who was tied to a chair so she could listen to Faith’s gentle indoctrination without escape.   
“I saw it in your eyes when you were completely consumed by the bliss.”   
Rook wondered how a person’s voice could be so gentle and calming at all times.  
“I took hold of your hand and brought you too me,” Faith continued, “Brought you closer. Just so you could feel loved, to show you that you could feel a sense of belonging when joining us, but when I pulled you to me, I saw your face change. You may have been under the bliss, but the real you came forth. Your sin is lust, and I can prove it further.”  
Rook groaned. She didn’t need this right now. She didn’t need a radical religious practitioner to tell her that being who she was was some nuclear-sized sin. She had already endured the homophobic sermons her whole life.  
“You didn’t come after John because you were angry, because you were filled with wrath,” Faith continued, “but because you were motivated by lust. He knew Deputy Hudson was important to you, but he just saw your attachment to her as something simple like friendship. You fought and killed only because you wanted her. Back into your life, back into your heart, into your bed. Lust is a gateway to wrath, so John wasn’t too far off, but his mistake cost him his freedom,” Faith stood up straight and walked around the chair, placing her hands on Rook’s shoulders casually. “Lust is bloody, lust has a history of violence. Troy fell from lust, not from the wrath of a king when a woman chose her own path, but from a prince choosing his sin over his country. The power of the female body, strong enough to drive men to war.”  
“I guess that’s why they try to control us so much,” Rook said, adding her comment just to show Faith she felt no intimidation.   
“It is exactly why,” Faith said, “Aren’t you smart?” She then grazed her fingers up Rook’s neck, slipping into her short hair.   
“What are you doing?” Rook asked.  
“I’m sorry, Deputy,” Faith said, faux-appalled at herself, retreating her fingers. “It’s second nature to me to always comfort my flock.”  
“I’m not a part of your crazy cult,” Rook grumbled, trying to fight the cloudiness in her head. “You think- you think because I’m strapped to this chair that you’ve- you’ve got me…”  
“Shush, Deputy,” Faith hummed warmly, walking back around to face Rook. “I know I have you,” she said confidently. “I’ll take care of you, keep you safe. You deserve it, after all the pain and suffering you’ve gone through. After all the fighting. You deserve to rest, to be with me. I wouldn’t want to give you up to be part of Jacob’s Chosen, now, would I?”  
“Thanks for the appreciation,” Rook said, her head hanging down over her chest, the drug making it hard for her to keep her muscles from relaxing. Faith giggled and lifted Rook’s chin up with a finger. “But, I’m still not interested.”  
Faith tipped Rook’s head back far enough to rest against the back of the chair, safe from dropping forward again.   
“Dear Deputy,” Faith smiled, “I know you’re just trying to look strong, and you are! You are so strong! But here? In Eden’s Gate, you can put down your arms. You’ll be safe, you’ll be loved, and you’ll be happy.”   
“Stop,” Rook groaned. “Stop with the rhetoric. You’re all crazy. You won’t keep me safe, you won’t love me, and I definitely won’t be happy. I’m not the walking definition of wrath, nor lust. You don’t know anything.”   
Faith sighed, but kept her smile. She walked over to a table in the corner, and when she made her way back to Rook, the deputy realized she was carrying a bliss flower.   
“You’re too embarrassed to accept it, I understand,” Faith said, tucking the flower in the breast pocket of Rook’s button-up plaid. “I know I have you,” the woman said matter-of-factly. “I know because of your sin. I have you, dear Deputy,” Faith repeated, looking down at her with pity, “I have you because you want me.”  
Rook felt her face catch fire in an uncontrollable blush. “That’s not true!”  
“It’s okay, we will help you with that,” Faith said. “I will love you regardless of your affliction, and I know in the end, you will love me the right way.”  
Rook felt her stomach twist in anger as she tried to push down the old feelings she thought she had killed years ago. The conditioned feelings of internalized homophobia crawling back out from the depths. Faith wouldn’t make her ashamed of who she was, this corruption of religion wouldn’t make her ashamed of who she was. Nothing and no one would.   
“Even if I did,” Rook growled, “Even if I did want you, even if you were right- you wouldn’t wanna stop me.”  
Faith’s eyes sharpened, her façade of gentle shepherd shattering. “How dare you suggest such a thing.”  
“You wanna know how I know?” Rook grinned tauntingly, wriggling her bound wrists at the chair’s back. “Because it takes one to know one.”  
She didn’t know Faith’s preference at all, of course, but Rook knew that most people these days fumbled about themselves when being assumed to be anything close to homosexual.   
Faith took a step back, a heavy pink hue bleeding underneath her cheeks. “Ridiculous,” she said, “It’s ridiculous to assume that no one else could notice the way you looked at me. I’ve seen it a thousand times in men. I wouldn’t look upon someone in such a way!”  
Faith’s hand had snapped the trap Rook knew she’d trigger. People were so typical.  
Rook knew to only press her advantage in this conversation forward, so she continued the offense.  
“You did strike me when I first saw you,” Rook said. “But this wasn’t from the bliss. I noticed you in Joseph’s chapel that first night. How couldn’t I? You were standing so confidently, so aggressive and challenging with your hand on your hip. Everything about that stance spoke of who you truly are: a woman of power. And you just watched me like that, just waiting to see what I was going to do next.”  
Faith’s jaw seemed to set, fighting the pleasure of the compliment from showing on her face.  
“I like a strong woman,” Rook went on to say, knowing this would keep Faith from regaining her practiced persona.   
“Thus proving my point,” Faith said, pulling a chair in front of Rook and sitting down. “About your sin. Is Hudson not a strong woman? When you look upon her, do you only think of your own desires?”  
Rook was now done playing games. She just wanted this to be over. “Just let me go,” she muttered. “You won’t get what you want from me. I’d rather die than do something against my will.”  
Faith studied Rook’s face with true consideration, locked away in her thoughts, her legs crossed at her ankles like a proper lady.   
“Which is why you must let me save you,” she then said. “If I let you go… if I fail in my mission to welcome you to our family, you will come for Jacob, and Jacob will do to you things worse than my bliss. I only want us to be happy, to be calm. Jacob will make you kill…”   
“Let me go,” Rook repeated, averting her eyes.   
Faith sighed. “I will then,” she said, getting up from her chair. “I only ask that you please spread the Word of Joseph. You have the power to save so many. Please, bring them to the bliss.”  
She then left the room and closed the metal door. From where ever it was she had gone, Faith had turned on a valve that brought the fumes of bliss into the room, making Rook feel heavier and heavier, and her head dropped over her chest and she succumbed to the drug. 

* * *

Hudson had come into Rook’s room, closing the door behind it and resting her back on it before moving forward.   
“I didn’t think you were going to come back,” she said quietly. “All the intel pointed to Faith taking you, and since she has Burke, I figured you’d be lost forever.”   
Rook looked up at the other deputy, staying seated on her bed. She wasn’t sure if moving towards Hudson would do any good.   
“Can you believe,” Hudson continued, scoffing, “that I thought about coming to get you? Coming to save you like you did for me?”  
“Why do you laugh at the idea?” Rook inquired cautiously.  
Hudson shook her head, her eyes closed tight, fighting tears that Rook couldn’t see.   
“They really fucked me up, Rook,” she said angrily, making her way to the bed and seating herself. “I don’t even know what I’m capable of anymore. They held me for so long, hurt me in so many helpless ways… I… they got in my head. I was afraid of failing. I was afraid of not being good enough because… they showed me I never was.”  
Rook reached out to hold Hudson’s hand. “That’s not true,” the junior deputy soothed, “This is a whole cult! A huge body of people. Not one person can do it alone.”  
“But you-”  
“I’ve only succeeded because I found allies, Hudson,” said Rook. “Every time I tried to save you, I never went in alone. Is that what you thought?”  
“It is only ever you,” Hudson said. “When John first brought me to you in his bunker, when you saved me- there was no one else with you.”  
“Joey,” Rook then said firmly, squeezing Hudson’s hand. The other deputy’s eyes sought Rook’s, drawn by the use of her first name. “When I saved you, I went in with a team, and when I found you, we got out together, you and me. You took so much initiative. I knew to let you lead, without a doubt. Any power you think you’ve lost in yourself, you never really did. I saw you. You didn’t cower, you attacked without hesitation. You were everything you needed to be. They didn’t take anything from you, or show you anything but a lie.”   
Hudson gripped their joined hands tighter, and with a slight tremble in her grip, she leaned forward quickly, kissing Rook. It was firm and long, with Hudson not pulling away until moments later. When she did, she stayed close, her eyes barely open, but full of sorrow. Rook didn’t have the chance to ask, and thought that this was perhaps the result of things Hudson couldn’t put in words just yet.   
Hudson kissed her again, and then again, eventually urging Rook to lie down by pushing her shoulders- as gently as her emotion could tolerate. Rook submitted, letting Hudson situate herself on top, their bodies flush and warm against each other as the kissing continued. Hudson’s passion was only increasing by the passing second, but Rook could feel the energy. Hudson was aggressive, the hectic motions of a survivalist, full of pain and the need to kill fear. Her lips began to press too hard and her hands roamed quickly and gripped Rook’s hips with warring vigor. Rook seethed at the roughness of it all.  
It wasn’t right. Rook wanted to help Hudson in any way she could, but this wasn’t right for either of them. Trying to distract herself from her pain with another emotion wasn’t going to help her heal.   
“Joey,” Rook murmured against Hudson’s lips, “Joey…”  
Hudson pulled away curtly, holding herself above Rook, an eyebrow raised in pure frustration.  
“I wouldn’t want to do this with you while you’re still hurting,” Rook said slowly and truthfully, watching Hudson’s face. “I know you’ve got a lot happening inside, and it’s keeping you from feeling anything else.”   
Hudson hung her head down just a bit, her eyes closed, and nodded silently.   
“You’re right,” she whispered, her voice low but still raspy. “We can’t- I can’t… I can’t even fucking get turned on, when before-” she removed herself from the bed, then cupped her face in her hands. “I can’t do this, Rook. I can’t fucking do it. Not now. I just. I can’t.”  
Rook raised herself back into a sitting position, but was too petrified to stand. Hope County had begun to see the junior deputy as a rising, fearless hero, but even she was human, and in this moment, she was afraid of what these words meant.   
“Us, you mean?” Rook ventured to ask, trying to remain kind.  
Hudson nodded. “I just… I just can’t. I’m sorry.”  
Rook swallowed, “I understand. Take the time you need.”  
Hudson’s dark eyes glanced at Rook sharply, and the other woman feared its message. Feared that it meant it didn’t matter how much time passed, there would be no future for them anymore.   
“Good night, Rook,” Hudson then said, slowly backing towards the door.  
“Good night, Joey,” Rook said weakly, smiling as best she could, and watched Hudson close the door behind her. 

* * *

The second time Faith had captured the infamous deputy, the siren knew something was different.  
“You’re in more pain than before,” she correctly evaluated from her chair that was facing Rook. “What has happened? Let me soothe you?”  
“Nothing’s happened,” Rook croaked, feeling herself gain more control that she ever had under the influence of bliss. Perhaps she was developing a tolerance, or perhaps Faith was keeping her more coherent on purpose. She was now restrained by metal handcuffs instead of rope this time, and Rook knew it was because Faith was finally seeing her as the threat she was.  
“You can’t lie to me, Deputy,” Faith said softly. “I know pain too. All kinds of pain, more specifically the pain caused by unrequited love.”   
Rook took notice of the room, finding it beneficial to gather clues since she wasn’t as intoxicated as before.   
“You just took a leap of faith, not too long ago,” Faith reminded in earnest, “Don’t go back to your old ways. Be open, be faithful. You are safe here, you can trust me.”  
Rook laughed at Faith’s words.   
“You know,” Rook began, “A part of me wants to believe you.” Faith’s face lit up. “Because while I’ve been out and about liberating the Henbane, you’ve been leaving me clues about your life, about your intentions. It’s intimate. But another part of me feels like it’s just another trap. Just another way to make me think you’re sharing with me, just so I can lean closer, enough for you to grab me and pull me down.”  
“Your first instinct is correct,” Faith said, “I told you about what happened to me, how I lost my home, my family. Do you think my followers know about my past pain? Not to the extent that you do.”  
“How about this?” Rook proposed, trying to come up with a mind game of her own. “If you say you want what’s best for me, and that you want me to be a part of your family, let’s get more intimate.”  
“Meaning?” Faith asked naively.   
“Meaning no more games. No more politician-Faith. No more tricks. I respect honest and realism. You can try to butter me up with compliments and ambitions, but the only way for me to trust you is to really know you. Rachel.”   
Faith looked down at her hands folded in her lap. “Rachel is gone,” she began, “I am Faith, and will be until the end of my days.”  
“You’re Rachel,” Rook said. “I don’t want to negotiate with Faith. Faith has no chance of winning me. Rachel does.” It was another line of bait thrown. How desperate was the Cult to recruit her? Would they fall for the trick of making themselves more vulnerable in hopes of winning?  
“You’re asking a lot,” Faith said lowly, looking up, her blue eyes colored with a strong grey hue in this bunker.   
“Well a soul is a high-priced item,” Rook retorted.   
“Indeed it is,” Faith agreed, her perfected smile taking root. “High-priced, but worth it. Tell me, Deputy, all your pain, all your sorrows, and I promise I will do everything I can to bring you salvation. I cannot be Rachel for you, but I can do something for you that will show just as much trust.”   
The Siren then leaned forward and with a key she withdrew from her cleavage, unlocked the shackles holding Rook to her chair.  
“What are you doing?” Rook asked bewildered, the shackles clanking on the ground.   
“Meeting you halfway, as it seems you have requested,” Faith said simply. “I really want to save you, Deputy. I believe you can be a powerful contribution to the family. You’re not one to be wasted.”  
Thoughts rushed Rook’s mind. She could kill Faith, right here, right now. Send the Henbane cultist control running like a chicken without a head. But Faith still had the advantage here. The Seed sister obviously knew Rook would consider attacking her the second she freed her, but also knew the deputy wouldn’t act on it. The Siren was always in control. To harm Faith in anyway would just lead to the Deputy losing her life, worst case scenario. There was no getting out of here without risking it all.   
Rook stood up, at Faith’s eyes watched the ascent, not rising from her chair to meet her prisoner’s height. It felt strange, to look down at her, to see her mysterious and strong eyes simply look up at her the way they were. It made her stomach tighten in excitement.  
“You’re looking at me like that again,” Faith said in a low warning, with a ghost of a tease.  
“Like what?” Rook growled, not having this again.  
“With hunger,” Faith emphasized, voice still low, eyes still primed.   
“I’m not.”  
Then something sparked in Faith’s mind, Rook could sense it, and the woman now stood up, smoothing out her dress out of habit, a knowing smile on her face.  
“I know what pains you,” she said simply, “Has Deputy Hudson gone and broke your heart?”  
Rook wanted to retort, to fight back, but her mouth opened with silence. Faith reached out a hand and cupped Rook’s cheek affectionately.   
“I knew it. Let her go if she has set you free,” Faith cooed, pressing her forehead against Rook’s. “Come to me. To New Eden. Like the Almighty Father, I will never forsake you.”   
Faith wrapped her arms around Rook, her fingertips deeply grazing against the deputy’s back. Hit in a spot Rook did not see the need to protect, her personal life, she was momentarily paralyzed, breathing in Faith’s lightly pleasant perfume. It soothed her, and the deputy wondered if the Siren had dabbed some bliss oil on her neck. Weakly, Rook returned the embrace, holding Faith fiercely against her, her head resting on the Siren’s shoulder.  
“That’s right, give it all to me, give me your pain,” Faith continued, “I’ll carry it all for you, you’ll never have to suffer alone again.”   
Rook now found the strength to pull away, just lifting her head from her cradled position, but Faith still held her tight. The Siren looked at her, curious, but her lips still smiled for the deputy’s pleasure and comfort. Her eyes were so mysterious, so deep, so seductive of secrets, Rook couldn’t help it. She couldn’t help it, and leaned in and stole a kiss.  
Faith gasped and practically skipped out of Rook’s arms. She raised her hand to her lips, gently hovering over the delicate skin, as if afraid a touch would sear her fingertips.   
“Deputy,” she whispered, confused.   
“I’m sorry,” Rook murmured. “I shouldn’t have assumed… that it was okay. I’m just…”  
“You’re just hurt,” Faith said quickly, nodding. She took both of Rook’s hands in hers like she did on that first bliss trip, and returned to the intimate space they had just moments ago. “I understand. Let me,” She reached out to caress Rook’s face again, “I offered to take your pain. Let me take your pain from you, I want to do what I can for you…” As she said this, she lifted herself on her toes just a bit and let go of Rook’s hands so she could bring her arms over the deputy’s shoulders.  
“My sin?” Rook mocked in a whisper, falling under the spell of intimacy as Faith leaned in.  
“Our hearts will do what they can. If we lose our way, we can ask for forgiveness afterwards,” Faith whispered.   
The Siren’s kiss stifled the laugh Rook wanted to release. Rook got what she wanted. This wasn’t Faith, this was Rachel, she was sure of it.   
Rachel kissed with a deep fervor, fingers tickling the back of Rook’s neck, sending jolts of sensation down the deputy’s entire body. She flushed her body against her enemy, the warmth of the Siren’s skin bleeding through her thin lace dress, seeping past Rook’s own clothing.  
Overwhelmed by heartbreak and stress, Rook realized this was the same thing Hudson had fallen for the other day. After telling Hudson not to fall for it, not to ignore a feeling by replacing it with another, Rook realized that Hudson was stronger. Rook on the other hand, didn’t think she had it in her to pull away. She wanted this comfort, she wanted this heightened happiness and pleasure. She needed her, she needed Faith.   
Her hands scratched at the fabric of Faith’s dress, tugging with animalistic need. Faith’s hands traveled down to Rook’s neck, her fingers pressing with her own need. The simple touch warmed Rook low in her body, and she wondered just how far Rachel was going to take this. More driven by need than curiosity, Rook’s hands traveled to Faith’s abdomen, feeling the lean muscles of the woman underneath the garment tense. Faith moaned ever so quietly, an escaped sound passing the controlled checkpoints of her power.   
“Lie down,” Rook ordered in between a kiss.  
“I cannot,” Faith whispered, pulling Rook’s mouth back to hers. There was no bed in this room, only chairs and a desk.   
“Then sit,” Rook said.  
Faith reached out blindly behind herself, searching for the chair that was there. Cautiously, she gripped one of the armrests to help herself sit as she continued to kiss Rook, her eagerness making the deputy wonder if she had been right about the woman all along. Rook had to lean forward, a hand on each armrest as Faith situated herself. When she was fully seated, Rook pulled away from their constant kissing, and slowly lowered herself to her knees.  
She grabbed the white lace of the bottom of the dress, and began to pull it up. Up her thighs, which begged for Rook’s lips, up over her hips as Faith lifted herself in the chair slightly, allowing the garment to rise. Right after lifting Faith’s dress, Rook quickly pulled the woman’s underwear down, with the help of Faith raising herself once again.   
Faith exhaled shakenly in anticipation, her head leaning back, her eyes closed. Rook was curious as to how the Siren was trying to mentally prepare herself, wondered if this was something she truly wanted or if this was just another form of manipulation. Rook then placed a hand on either knee and slowly spread Faith’s legs apart. Faith flexed her hands on the armrests.   
“Are you sure about this?” Rook felt the need to ask. They had already crossed a line as it was, but intimacy included more than just one, and her integrity wouldn’t allow herself to continue if this really was a form of manipulation.   
“Yes,” Faith breathed, her head still tipped back. Rook noticed from this angle that Faith had a beautiful neck, and watched as the woman quickly swallowed immediately after she replied.   
“You let me know if it becomes too much for you,” Rook sighed with intoxication, her lips now feasting on Faith’s inner thighs. Faith didn’t respond, just waited for the kill shot, her chest rising and falling in excitement.   
Rook’s mouth tasted, kissed, and bit Faith’s thighs, her hands gripping the woman’s hips, massaging her. As she got closer and closer to Faith’s center, she could sense Faith’s muscles get tighter and tighter. Deciding to put the Siren out of her misery, she swiped her tongue deep in Faith’s folds.   
Faith tried to move herself away just then, hissing.   
Raising an eyebrow, Rook looked up from her kneeling.   
“Everything okay?” The deputy asked.  
“Y-yes,” Faith stuttered, “Just sensitive.”  
Rook hummed in acknowledgement, going back to worshiping at her altar, pressing her mouth against Faith once more, her tongue moving in a quick flick this time, like a serpent.   
Faith cried out, her body trying to escape again.  
“Does it feel good?” Rook ventured to ask, concerned.  
“Yes,” Faith seethed, “Please, I’m sorry, it’s just… been a while.”  
Rook pressed her tongue down again, dragging her tongue flat and firm through Faith, eliciting another jerk of her hips.  
“Stop running away,” Rook found herself chuckling, teasing lightheartedly. Through an unstable breath, Faith herself chuckled at the command. It struck a chord in the deputy, feeling the energy had shifted without her notice, going from suspicion and tension to carefree trust.  
Rook wondered how long it had been since someone loved Faith. Made her feel loved, desired, and treasured. It was probably when she was still Rachel, when she was still suffering before being seduced by Joseph’s doctrine.   
Taking a firmer grip on Faith’s hips, Rook wanted to be relentless. She wanted to forget Hudson and embrace shame, embrace her selfishness. She wanted Faith to think highly of her, to put all that bullshit of sin and order aside, and to just get lost in pleasure.   
Faith moaned as her hands found their way to Rook’s head, combing her fingers in her hair, as Rook’s tongue went back to work, tasting her with wide and long strokes. Rook began to pick up her pace, her tongue exploring Faith’s sex with eagerness, encouraged to perform by Faith’s whimpers and the gripping of her fingers in her hair. She sucked on Faith’s clit in successive episodes, giving the woman bursts of intense pleasure on and off.   
“God, you’re right on it,” Faith whined, her chest rising and falling rapidly, desperate for air. Her grip in the deputy’s hair flexing rapidly, gripping, then loosening, and gripping again. It was getting warmer in the room, and all Rook wanted to do was remove Faith’s dress, ever the gentleman to relieve a woman of any discomfort, and in effect, being able to venerate the woman’s breasts like a priceless masterpiece. But she kept her hands trained on Faith’s hips, her tongue and mouth not withdrawing from Faith’s slick and sweet-tasting center coated in arousal.   
When Rook became emboldened past the point of no return, she pressed her tongue into Faith’s entrance, the muscle only being able to go so far, resulting in a welcomed and torturous tease for her lover.   
The Siren pushed Rook’s face firmly against her core, now looking down at the deputy who was keeping her legs spread open. Rook chanced a glance up to Faith, her mouth still loving the woman’s sex with deeply devout passion, and the intensity in her eyes shook Faith, the woman gasping out a sharp cry, her legs beginning to slightly tremble on their own.  
Rook then released Faith’s hips and brought her own hands to her pants, frantically working on her belt. She pulled the leather belt open quickly, then began working on the button and zipper of her trousers. She then returned a hand to Faith’s hips, gripping with authority while her other hand made its way down her own underwear, finding her own pleasure point and began to rub as eagerly as her tongue was working on Faith.   
Rook now began joining Faith in the chorus of moans, her own cries pressed against Faith’s cunt, her tongue become sore with each weakened stroke. She couldn’t focus anymore, not with her own hand pressed against herself demanding all her attention.   
“Rachel,” Rook groaned desperately.   
The other woman understood with ease, now grinding herself against Rook’s sore lips. “Bring yourself relief,” Faith whispered on a delicate moan.  
That was all it took for Rook to push herself over, stimulated more by mental arousal than anything, having been granted permission to collapse between a woman’s legs. The deputy grunted first as her orgasm seized her, before she lost herself, gripping Faith’s hip for purchase. She cried out in waves, her hand pressing against herself in the firm way she learned she liked years ago.   
As Rook felt herself come down, the intoxication of orgasm lulling her just as strong as the bliss, Faith placed her hand back on her, reminding her of her own need. Rook wasted no time, her mouth sucking and her tongue stroking, focusing on Faith’s clit, bringing the Siren to her own climax in a matter of seconds. She trembled and cried out in distress; her voice striking Rook even more than it ever did before. Faith grinded her pinnacle out, resting only when the waves had ceased to overcome her.   
Rook rested her head on Faith’s thigh, trying to catch her breath as the Siren languidly played with her hair, lost in her own euphoric daze.   
“How do you feel?” Faith asked quietly, still soothing the deputy with her fingers dragging against her scalp.   
Rook reflected upon herself before answering. She felt great, she felt relieved, she felt like one does after a long cry: hollow of pain, but neutral of anything else.   
“Better,” Rook whispered.   
“Good,” Faith sighed.   
“And you?”  
Faith smiled to herself, looking off at a vision of her thoughts, “Alive.”  
“Let me go, Rachel,” Rook then said, getting up off her knees, fixing Faith’s dress, recovering her modesty. She then began to buckle up her trousers. “I can’t stay here.”  
Faith’s face turned sharply away from the deputy’s gaze. “Even after our union, you wish not to stay?”   
Rook felt guilt bleeding into her heart as she detected authentic hurt in the Siren’s tone.   
“I gave myself to you,” Faith continued to express. “You used me.”  
Rook’s eyes widened at the accusation. “No, no,” Rook denied.   
“No better than a man,” Faith said shakily. She then got up and straightened her dress.   
“That’s not fair,” Rook said. She found herself needing to defend her reputation in Faith’s eyes.   
“How isn’t it?” Faith asked, a sharp flash of lightning in her eyes as she stared Rook down. “I want you, Deputy, don’t you understand? I want you with me, I want you here when the Collapse happens. I want to keep you safe, to keep you blissful. You asked for my honesty in exchange for considering a place in New Eden. I gave you what you needed, and now you just want to leave?”  
Rook suddenly felt rage boiling in her core, “Don’t act like you’d accept me, Rachel. You said it yourself, I’m afflicted with sin. I’ve heard it enough my whole life. Even if you weren’t doping the fuck out of people, even if Eden’s Gate was a truly wholesome cult, I don’t belong in a religious agenda.”  
Faith looked frustrated, and took a challenging step forward, entering the deputy’s space. “Your affliction is not that your heart belongs with a woman,” she explained angrily, “If that’s what you thought I meant. It’s that all you can do is fuck.” Hearing such a coarse word come from Faith’s heavenly voice petrified the deputy.   
“It’s all you want when you see a woman who smiles at you,” Faith continued. “That’s what lust is. I wanted to help you learn how to love, not force you to gaze upon a man.”   
Rook gritted her teeth, restraining her anger as Faith spoke to her.   
“If you would just learn how to love- to desire the pleasure of your partner’s heart just as much as you desire the euphoria of what’s between their legs, you would conquer your sin.”  
“Let me out, Rachel,” Rook threatened. She felt her conscious shake within her, the Siren’s words too compelling to be ignored. She didn’t want to consider if the Seed sister had truth in her words, Rook was too stubborn to be told what she was. “Now.”   
“Sit,” Faith then said, her entire demeanor void of heart and spirit. Her eyes were heavy with pain, but after a moment of self-collection, brought the famed Siren back in control.   
Rook obeyed, knowing that Faith would only release her after being gassed with Bliss.   
“I don’t believe I’ll be able to afford another heartbreak from you, deputy,” Faith said, making her way to the door. “The next time we meet, if you do not choose Eden, I fear what I may be forced to do.”  
Rook said nothing, choosing to ignore the vague threat, watching Faith step out and close the door like she did the first time, turning a valve on the other end, and waited for the Bliss. 

**Author's Note:**

> This was supposed to be a one shot, but it was becoming so long, even with our little interludes in between, and I didn't want to overwhelm you guys, so it'll be a two-part lol


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